Sunday, March 13, 2011

My version of "Modern Family"

I married into an interesting family. We'd make a great reality show....sitcom.....kinda like "Modern Family".

First up....Kelli, Natali and myself. She is a white Democrat, Natali is a bi-racial daughter and I am a black Republican. Kelli and I have little in common. She knows how to kill me without being caught. I could fly away with Natali and never be seen again. Yin and Yang. I'm going through life with the pedal to the metal while laughing at the scenery. Kelli is taking time to appreciate the scenery and goes at her own pace. I hate recycling. She hugs trees. I despise liberals. She is a liberal. Natali is stuck in the middle.

Second at bat are Jami, Kelly and Haley. A Lesbian couple with a daughter from a previous lesbian marriage. Haley is Jami's daughter who used sperm from a gay man. Jami and Kelly are both somewhat reserved. Out of the four couples, they are the most alike. Jami is a Nurse, Kelly is a Social Worker while Haley is a Princess. Three females, three different last names in one house.

Third at bat are Kevin, Jenny, Gianna and Renee. Kevin is a NYPD cop who is quiet and reserved. Jenny is a slick tongued Italian nurse who never stops. Gianna is a 5 year old little girl who is just like her mother. Renee is a one year old who is like her father. Split household personality wise. Hilarity ensues.

Headed for home are Bryan and Jessi who live in Oregon. Bryan is the guy you have on speed dial to pick you up at 5AM after your car broke down and need a ride home. He is a big imposing guy that, like Kevin, is quiet, reserved and could crush your head if the need arose. Jessi is a teacher who is not afraid to let you know what's on her mind. Headstrong and head of the household. Bryan and Jessi are young and just getting started on making their mark in the world. Bryan has a dog that Jessi doesn't care for. Jessi has cats...one of which is a little crazy. Bryan is allergic to cats.

Waiting in the dugout (Oregon)  are Peggy and John. Peggy is like an operator of yesteryear. She keeps ties on her kids in Oregon, California, Texas and New York while helping run the family business. Peggy travels almost as much as a traveling salesman with frequent flier accounts on three different airlines. Peggy, like all of her children, is quiet and reserved. John is not as reserved.  John is a hard worker who will take any chance he gets to go have fun at the Casino.  He is also a dreamer who is often thinking of the next great invention. Peggy tracks the money, John spends the money.

They all get together at least once a year. It's nonstop laughter, yelling, joking, glaring and fun.....and some how they tolerate me. All different....yet I love being a part of it all. My modern family.

 

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